John Legend is Black Jesus not Kanye West

Hello everybody,

First off, another sober day so I am grateful for that. Went to a meeting today, started rocky as nobody was there to open the door but eventually we got our meeting. It is good to actively pursue my sobriety. I have been silent a lot lately at the meetings. A part of me wants to be outspoken at meetings but I have been very guarded with my words. I want to make sure I don’t come across as too negative or crabby. I think I am getting jealous of seeing others in the spotlight. When people clap for somebody having 8 days of sobriety or 4 months a part of me is like, you know I have 21 years clap for that. But I know I need to be humble and not seek out that kind of praise. I know better, I know not to be self seeking so I keep silent about things like that. But it’s okay to admit I have some internal dialogue going about a need for attention. It’s the actions that matter most. I will work this out.

On to lighter fare. A new live version of Jesus Christ Superstar came out on TV last night. As it turns out Kanye West is NOT the Black Jesus….John Legend is. He makes a damn good one too. that dude has serious range as a singer. I think people get too hung up on color when it comes to Jesus. I don’t really care if he is white black Asian samoan,latino or Indian. If Jesus is not the same color as me it doesn’t affect how I view myself. I don’t need Jesus to look like me. For Jesus Christ Superstar it doesn’t matter what he looks like, all that matters is can the guy sing, and John Legend certainly can.

Speaking of black entertainment news, check out Acrimony starring Taraji P Henson. She has been “my girl” for years now as I have been singing her praises way before she was Cookie on Empire. She has often collaborated with Tyler Perry before and this role is a great fit. You have to add her to the pantheon of elite “Bitches be crazy” genre right there with Glen Close in Fatal Attraction, Faye dunaway in Mommie Dearest and Bette Davis in what happened to baby jane? This is elite level stuff.

In sports news, I find it amusing that on Good Friday Notre dame beat UConn in the Semifinals of the NCAA tournament and on Easter Sunday they won the title, how fitting. On the mens side Loyola University of Chicago made it to the Final Four but sister Jean was not enough and they bowed out to Michigan in the semifinals.

I really liked Ready Player one, the new Steven Spielberg role playing fantasy movie. There is a scene where they recreate the OVerlook hotel from the Shining that is absolutely Bad ass. This movie is chock full of retro references like Back to the Future and Atari and Twisted Sister. Spielberg loves his 80’s. Movie is a bit long but worth seeing for the Shining scenes alone. The giant robot is bad ass as well an the special effects are top notch.

I saw the 1961 move Kings which is a retelling of the life of Christ and his crucifixion. So yeah, although I didn’t go to church I got a lot of Jesus yesterday. The one beef I always have with Christ centered movies is the unimaginative dialogue. They have a tendency to only give Jesus dialogue that is directly found in the Bible. I think they need to broaden his dialogue a bit. When Jesus is having the last Supper this could be a very long scene with dialogue that is not found in the bible. You can stay true to the message of Jesus and still have a reverence for him without sticking to direct quotes. I am sure Jesus said lots of things that are not in the bible such as my feet are tired from all that walking, to Pass the salt, Peter, or glad you all made it is so goo to see you. I think dialogue for Bible movies is way too uptight and rigid. Have some imagination, will ya? This is why I love Jesus Christ Superstar because they actually have some imagination and put in their only thoughts and feeling about why may have been said. Did you see the scene where Mary Magdalen is singing about her Love for jesus? My Lord, that is powerful! It goes off script from the bible but I think its a very thouightful and acceptable interpretation of how mary just may have felt about Christ, it is edgy but I don’t think it’s blasphemous. Here are the lyrics to ” I don’t know how to love him”

I don’t know how to love him,

what to do, how to move him

I’ve been changed, yes, really changed

in these past few days when I’ve seen myself

I seem like someone else

I don’t know how to take this

I don’t see why he moves me

He’s a man, he’s just a man

And I’ve had so many men before

In very many ways he’s just one more

Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?

Should I speak of love? Let my feelings out?

I never thought I’d come to this

What’s it all about?

Yet, if he said he loved me, I’d be lost, I’d be frightened

I couldn’t cope, just couldn’t cope

I’d turn my head, I’d back away

I wouldn’t want to know

He scares me so, I want him so

I love him so


One of best love songs I have ever heard in my life, sung by Sara Bareilles, who is a Godsend in this role. Absolutely love this sung and I don’t think its blasphemous to suggest Mary Magdalene would have these feelings towards Jesus. It’s a thoughtful and touching imagination of how she may have felt and it doesn’t say anything which would contradict peoples beliefs about how Jesus may have conducted himself. It never implicates that Jesus did anything that would be deemed improper.



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